For all anyone knows, Elf on the Shelf is all part of a government plan hatched by the overlords at the North Pole to lull the next generation into the surveillance state.
He sees you when you’re sleeping. He knows when you’re awake
, is somehow a perfectly acceptable line in a children’s song about Santa. It also perfectly describes the nightmarish surveillance scam that is ‘.’ Since the namesake picture book was released in 2005, it’s quickly become a popular tool for parents to make Christmas time more interactive. The story depicts a scout elf, sent by Santa every December to watch the children of the world and report back on their behavior. In the book, the elf gains its magic by being loved and named by a child.
The story that accompanies the elf, which parents are supposed to read to their children, is a staunch reminder that the elf and Santa are always watching. The elf has no eyelids; it can literally never stop watching.Elf on the Shelf isn’t just a scare tactic; it’s also a part-time holiday job.
While I blame Juno for everything that went wrong with the youths in my family, the elf situation has only gotten more intense over the years. The elf on the shelf now has more accessories, including a
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