When we are trying to prove that our outlook is correct, we do so at the expense of listening.
Guralnik, who is a New York-based clinical psychologist and psychoanalyst, says one of the most crucial parts of her job is helping people better communicate and listen, two acts that should go hand-in-hand but can often distract from one another.
"I think conversations go well when the effort is to try to understand what is the most important thing your partner is trying to communicate to you, rather than try to prove them wrong," Guralnik says."I think that's the key thing that makes a difference in a productive versus dead-end conversation.""It's discharge and retaliation, rather than conversation, and a lot of it is noise, and a lot of it is confusion," Guralnik says.
Attempting to understand how your partner arrived at their conclusion will help you emerge from conflict, rather than become more entrenched in it.Guralnik hopes viewers of"Couples Therapy" are able to see this skill in action on her show, and perhaps employ it in their own relationships. Fans repeatedly tell her, she says, that watching these intimate sessions helped them see that there is no"good" or"bad" guy.
"The more they get to know the participants, the more empathy they feel for everyone and they get a more complex view on relationship dynamics, and they stopped splitting and polarizing," she says.Achieve Financial Wellness: Be Happier, Wealthier & More Financially Secure . We'll teach you the psychology of money, how to manage stress and create healthy habits, and simple ways to boost your savings, get out of debt and invest for the future. Start today and use code EARLYBIRD for an introductory discount of 30% off through September 2, 2024.If you and your partner use 7 phrases, your relationship is stronger than most
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