The whole display of opening presents at a party rubs me the wrong way.
I Let My Daughter Spend the Weekend at a Friend’s Lake House. When She Returned, I Knew Something Went Terribly Wrong.My child is at that age where the entire class is often invited to birthday parties. As the family logistician , I usually handle the RSVPs and figure out who’s going to do the driving.
My husband is of the opinion that unless told otherwise, we should bring a gift. I’ve said that he’s welcome to take that upon himself, but that at parties where there’s tons of kids, one more gift doesn’t make much of a difference. For smaller parties, I usually reach out and ask about gift preferences, but for larger ones I don’t. Alas, there have been a few instances where my husband has come home and said, “Lots of other folks brought a gift, and we didn’t.
The whole display of opening gifts at a party rubs me the wrong way. My take is that parents aren’t asking why we aren’t providing a gift, our kid doesn’t seem to notice, I haven’t heard/felt any social repercussions for any of us, and again, I’ve offered up that if he feels strongly about it he can take on the task. He hasn’t but continues to make comments. I need some outside perspective about negotiating a path forward.I agree with your husband to some extent.
Childhood is literally the only time in your life where that you can expect loved ones will care so much about your birthday that they’ll gather in your honor with an offering in hand. Furthermore, while receiving presents isn’t the reason that most families go through the trouble of hosting a gathering, it is worth acknowledging that these festivities often involve a significant cost to the parents that went toward feeding your child and showing them a good time.
A suggestion: Purchase a few inexpensive, gender-neutral toys or books that your child’s friends may like and/or a pack of gift cards to Target, Amazon, or a children’s store to keep on hand for when a party comes up. The one-time inconvenience will save you time and the annoyance of your husband’s fruitless complaints.
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