We no longer quibble with people about their opposing political ideals or specific policy goals. We demonize them. sandracmatz
It is difficult to remain positive when we feel that our sense of what is real and true is threatened and that the other side is trying to erode and destroy what we hold self-evident and dear.The rapidly changing media landscape and the rise of social media platforms have exacerbated the negative sides of shared reality.
. Our desire to create shared realities with members of our in-group has always created filter bubbles. But the ones we observe today are filter bubbles on steroids. They are a lethal mix of our desire to stay inside our cozy and comfortable zone of agreement, and new technologies implemented by big tech companies to capture and sell our . We do not want to know how the other side feels about the world. And the tech giants make it easier for us than ever.have created political echo chambers in which we only talk to ourselves. Unlike in previous times, you can find a like-minded person to reinforce pretty much every belief or worldview you could hold. And you can co-create your truth about the world out of sight from everybody else. The same is true for political propaganda. Propaganda has always existed and will likely continue to exist. What has changed, however, is that it has become largely invisible to members outside of one’s tribe. The newsfeed of a young, black, liberal woman in New York, for example, is likely to look completely different than that of a middle-aged, white, conservative man in Ohio. It is like we are all standing in a dark alley with Mark Zuckerberg who is selectively feeding us information from the highest bidder. Nobody knows what we are being fed, or what everybody else is being fed either. The consequence of these bubbles is that we are all too often hit with unpleasant realities that we did not see coming. For Democrats, this was the 2016 presidential election. Very few had considered it a real possibility thatwould emerge as the next president of the United States. They did not see the blow coming. Why? Because they had no access to the lives and views of many Americans. Our egocentric view of the world often leads us to assume that our truth is also everybody else’s truth. Because we believe that they see what we see. Except that they don’t. They see whatever their bubble makes them see. And if we do not actively try to enter each other’s bubbles, we remain blind.As we have discussed before, our motivation to create shared reality brings out both the best and worst in us. This “two-sides-of-the-same-coin” narrative of shared reality makes the concept especially compelling when addressing the political divide: It provides both an explanation of and a solution to the problem. How do we create shared reality across the political aisle? As a first step, we need to regain our ability to see what the other side is seeing. Technology companies need to offer a possibility for us to step out of our own bubble and into those of people who are different than us. Those companies need to provide us with the chance to take a look at the reality of someone else. How would your Facebook newsfeed change if you were a 13-year-old black girl in Chicago? What would Google bring up in response to your search for “Joe Biden” if you were a 50-year-old working-class Republican in Phoenix? Adding a simple option that allows users to view their newsfeed or search results from the viewpoint of a particular type of person would make the invisible visible again. Swapping phones with family members from the opposite side and scrolling through each other’s newsfeed could also be an effective way for people to “see” each other’s realities. This swapping could become an important shared practice in your family. Prior research has shown that creating “shared practices”—traditions you engage in together as a family—is an important part of shared reality. It could also reinforce the sharedof being a family that exposes each other to the ideas and information from the other side—even if you disagree about the content. For us to truly consider new information as part of our reality, we need to have genuine conversations with each other, and we need to find a way of personally connecting with members of the opposing tribe. One way of doing this is to interact with people and to create shared reality in an uncontested domain before moving on to more difficult political conversations. Do you both cheer for the same sports team? Do you both miss your grandmother’s pumpkin pie? Do you both love the TV series “Great British Bake Off”? Uncovering similarities helps humanize the other side. The other person is no longer just a member of the other tribe. It is Jane. It is Adam. It is Malia. And writing off Jane, Adam, or Malia as dangerous or crazy is much harder than writing off an anonymous Republican or Democrat. Yes, Thanksgiving might turn into a political quarrel with Uncle Vernon and other family members. But instead of sharpening your knives or burying your heads in the turkey stuffing, we encourage you to first take the time to reinforce the shared reality you have about your family culture—reminisce together about shared memories, acknowledge your shared interests and values—and turn toonce you’ve established that base. Approach the political discussion as an opportunity to learn more about each other’s political beliefs with an open heart and mind. Maybe swap phones and scroll through each other’s newsfeed to understand where you are each coming from. How do you deviate in your perception and interpretation of the current political reality? Why do you hold these beliefs? Do you share political goals even if you might disagree on the specific solutions for how to achieve them? And if you find yourself reaching an impasse—can you agree that you value debate and the exchange of ideas as a family? Shared reality with members of other “tribes” takes time to create. But if we want to heal the wounds that the current political divide has torn into the very foundation of our society, we need to start somewhere.
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