I was 20 and he was 29.
Clearly, the song's message has resonated with many — myself included. And though I still, personally, find myself mostly unable to express my feelings about my relationship with someone who was nearly 10 years older than me when I was just 20, these song lyrics have put words to my experience.
Of course, not all age gaps are inherently bad — and not all age gaps are created equal. It's the elements informing the age gap that can be problematic, which, frankly, tend to have a lot to do with the ages of the people in the relationship. While there are exceptions to every rule, a 17-year-old dating someone who is 29 likely falls under different circumstances than a 35-year-old dating someone who is 46, when considering financial, emotional, and mental factors.
But no matter the gender, large age gaps can sometimes lead to a coupling filled with coercion and abuse, and in some cases one or even both partners may not realize they've fallen into this dynamic. That said, relationships between people with a large age differencebe filled with love and happiness.
I, too, had this"aha" moment years later when I realized my relationship was more than just toxic: it was emotionally abusive, and ultimately turned me into someone I didn't recognize. But Lovato's and my experience is not universal. While we do not represent what will happen in every similar partnership, we do account for at least some of the experiences that people have so willingly opened up about after"29"'s release.
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