Kids often can’t articulate their feelings, so they come out in meltdowns or defiance. They don’t know any other way to communicate how angry or disappointed they are. How to address the feeling that is fueling the behavior.
When our children feel bad, they behave badly. It helps to remember that a lot of badstems from a strong emotion the child is feeling. Kids often can’t articulate their feelings, so they come out in tantrums or defiance. They don’t know any other way to communicate how angry or disappointed they are.
When we try to deal with a child who is upset, we often get upset. We find ourselves getting angry when our child behaves defiantly, or feeling anxious or guilty because we wish they weren’t feeling so bad. The problem is that our strong feelings can cloud our thinking and lead us to react impulsively, rather than taking time to use each interaction to help our children.
When a child complains that he can’t do his homework, instead of saying, “You can do it. It’s really not hard,” you could say, “You might be thinking this looks too hard. You don’t want to get it wrong.”
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