Def Jam Just Signed a Bunch of NFT Whales

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Def Jam Just Signed a Bunch of NFT Whales
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This has to be some metaverse version of putting the cart before the horse...

That’s not what it actually said, of course. What it actually said was: “Def Jam signs digital avatar music group The Whales.” Upon opening it, I learned that the label whose works I’d been consuming since the days of tape decks, the one that signed Jay-Z and Slick Rick and the Beastie Boys, has cut a deal with a group of cartoon whale characters created by a Web3 company called Wagmi Beach.

Please understand, it’s not that I find this concept confusing. I grew up in the age of the Gorillaz. But what’s baffling is that, as of yet, there is no Damon Albarn. The press release promised an “all-star cast” of writers, producers, and performers but named none. Instead, Wagmi cofounder Alec Lykken provided a statement declaring that Web3 signaled “a fundamental technology change that will alter how music and art is consumed by generations to come.

This isn’t meant to pooh-pooh an idea just because it’s full of buzzwords and light on concrete details, but if Web3 truly wants to revolutionize art, it also ought to make some. Yes, dadaists will argue that anything can be art if you say it is, but a band without music is something else. It’s hard to imagine Rick Rubin going into the studio with a bunch of digital collectibles, even if they are made by folks with some really great ideas about their vibe.

On this, I want to be proven wrong. Maybe The Whales are the next Gorillaz. Or, at least, maybe they can hire Albarn to make them sound like they are. Maybe they can do every concert in

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