I'm experiencing deep emotional turmoil.
My husband and I are expecting a girl, and it’s triggering deep emotional turmoil in me. I mean, I’m thrilled to have a girl. But it’s triggered such a keen awareness of the injustices she’ll face in her life. At the systemic level, I feel worn out and exhausted thinking of navigating a daughter through environments that say that girls are responsible for damaging boy’s desire, that deny female sexuality. The overt and subtle sexism and bias.
At the individual level, I want to cry when my parents try to impress the importance of “two genders, each with proper behavior.” Or when my in-laws show implicit, but still visible, favoritism for their grandson over their six granddaughters or say that they’ll pray that our next child is a boy . I’m at the point where I just want to ask my husband not to translate those comments during their visits. Our kid isn’t even born yet, and I feel worn out.
Secondly, keep reminding your future daughter of how amazing she is. Heck, you can do that right now by whispering to her while you’re pregnant. Not that I need to tell you this, but women and girls will always be told that they’re not good enough by unenlightened people, so building a strong foundation of confidence early on in her life will go a long way.
Last, but not least—take care of your mental health. I can see you’re already becoming overwhelmed due to the state of the world, and I absolutely do not blame you. The main thing is you can’t become consumed by it or else you’ll lose your mind. When it becomes too much, be sure to turn off the news, put away your phone, talk to your therapist, enjoy nature, exercise, read a book, or take part in whatever activity calms you.
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