Advice from Annie Lane.
My husband had a friend, “John,” whom he had known since the late 1980s. Hubby was not only a good friend and hang-around buddy to John, but he also helped John in countless ways -- with advice, with money and in emergency situations where John needed a hand with something. John was always self-centered and quite full of himself , but Hubby overlooked that.
Go forward again for another few years, and my husband passes away. Almost six months later, John has yet to reach out to me to offer condolences, share a funny story about Hubby, ask if he could help with anything. He did reach out because Hubby had borrowed a couple of tools that he wanted returned. Yet he will ask other friends how I am doing.
A couple of mutual friends have said, “That’s just John.” Considering he brings nothing to my relationship with him except anxiety and depression, is it OK to simply stop communicating with him?First off, I am very sorry for the loss of your husband. Yes, it is 100% OK to stop communicating with John if you don’t want to. He was your husband’s friend, not your friend, so unless you enjoy his company, there are plenty of other people with whom you could spend your time and energy.
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