My husband and I used to be invited to dinners, so why am I left out now? What’s the difference between five people at a table versus six?
DEAR ANNIE: It’s been two years since my husband passed, and at first, my friends were wonderful -- calling, visiting and sending cards. But now that I’m ready to get out again, something strange has happened: I’m rarely included anymore. I always included my single friends.
If you’re wondering if they liked my husband more, that’s not it; they still call and invite me to lunch. But for casual couples’ gatherings, I’ve become invisible. I’ve even hosted a few dinners myself, and they happily attend. So it’s not that they don’t want to spend time with me, but why the shift in dynamics?
DEAR WIDOWING: First and foremost, I’m very sorry for your loss. Thank you for bringing attention to this issue. Losing a life partner is already incredibly isolating, and being excluded from events you once attended only makes healing more difficult. I hope your letter helps people understand the perspective of a widow and encourages them to extend more invitations to you.
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