Advice from Annie Lane.
Three months ago, I ended a two-year relationship with my boyfriend. We lived together in my apartment. The breakup was painful and overdue. I’ve blocked his number and have no interest in reopening that chapter.
The problem is that his mail is still arriving here. Not just catalogs, but things that look important — a bank envelope, something from the DMV, even what appeared to be a medical bill. I feel uneasy throwing them away, but reaching out to him is absolutely off the table. I just want to be done. What is my obligation here? I don’t want to screw him over by throwing out important documents, but I also resent having to play secretary.Don’t throw the mail away, but don’t contact him either. Simply write “Return to Sender — Not at This Address” on each unopened envelope and put it back in the mailbox. The postal service will do the rest.My problem is that I don’t sleep well. I know it’s mostly in my head. I worry about the smallest things you can imagine, especially at bedtime when all is quiet — an unreturned phone call or a late 1099, etc. I know it’s crazy to worry about these things, but they keep me awake while normal people just doze off. When I truly don’t have any issues, I sleep much better. Part of my problem is that, as a retiree, I don’t have much on my mind and I’m pretty bored. When I was working, this wasn’t much of an issue. Physically, I’m fairly active, but that’s only five or six hours of exercise a week. I take prescription sleep meds, but I don’t want to keep increasing my dosage.You’re not “crazy.” When work disappears, our minds often look for something to fill the void, and small worries can grow loud in the dark.Boredom feeds anxiety, and in retirement, you’re even more likely to fall into that trap. Think about what interests you, whether that’s volunteering, mentoring, working part time or taking a class. Giving your mind a purposeful focus during the day will prevent you from spiraling at night.Annie Lane offers common-sense solutions to everyday problems. She's firm, funny and sympathetic, echoing the style of her biggest inspiration, Ann Landers. She lives outside Manhattan with her husband, two kids and two dogs. When not writing, she devotes her time to play dates and Play-Doh. Write her: dearannie@creators.comThousands have swooned over this MAGA dream soldier. She’s made with AI.Miss Manners: Kids don’t get an automatic pass for being rude
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