In today's Dear Annie column, Annie Lane hears from a reader who is feuding with her sister over how to celebrate their parent's milestone, with a big party or intimate event.
Annie Lane advises today's reader to remind their sister of what their parents would want for an anniversary celebration, not what she might want for them.
My sister “Emily” and I were planning a joint celebration for our parents’ 40th wedding anniversary, but we’ve hit a snag. Emily wants to host a large party with all of our extended family and friends, but I think that a more intimate gathering would be more special and less stressful for our parents. They are both pretty reserved, and I just know they would prefer something smaller.
Every time I try to discuss this with Emily, it ends in an argument and she accuses me of not wanting to do something “all-out” for our parents. Every time I try to explain my reasoning to her, it doesn’t seem like she hears me. How can I communicate to Emily that a small celebration isn’t about cutting corners but honoring our parents’ preferences? -- Caught in the Middle in MichiganSit down with Emily and tell her that you understand her desire to celebrate this milestone in a big way.
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