Dear Annie: I’d like an impartial opinion on something that’s been bothering me for a few months now. My husband recently turned 50, and as I wanted to mark this milestone, I decided to throw a small surprise party. I texted our closest friends, asking what dates would work best for them. I gave three Saturday dates that would be a possibility for me to host, one being two days after my husband’s birthday.
One of our friends’ wife, whose husband is a close friend from my husband’s childhood, responded that she wasn’t available on any Saturday, only Friday evenings. Her milestone birthday was also three days after my husband’s. She explained that she understood that I work and am tired on Fridays but that Saturday simply wouldn’t work, as she was a cheer coach for her daughter’s recreational cheer team, which had games on Saturday. She also reminded me that it was her birthday weekend.
She never responded and has not spoken to me in months. Should I have just held the party on the Friday to please all of my husband’s friends and keep the peace? Your opinion is very much appreciated. -- Feeling Sad to Lose a Friend But to give her the benefit of the doubt, perhaps she simply couldn’t make the party, got busy with life and forgot to respond to you. Invite her and her husband over for drinks and dessert to jointly celebrate both her and your husband’s birthdays, even if they were several months ago. Let her know her presence is valued; tell her you want her there because you enjoy her company.
I feel, though, that you may have missed something from “Confused by Wife’s Priorities,” who found it strange that his wife was rifling through their daughter’s possessions.
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