In today's Dear Annie column, Annie Lane shares letters from other moms who share how they respond when asked if they are their child's parent or grandparent.
I have thoroughly enjoyed reading your many responses to “Left Speechless,” the 55-year-old mother who felt herself struggling with how to reply to strangers when asked if she is her childrens’ mother or grandmother. We have such a supportive and insightful Dear Annie community .I was also an older mother and was often mistaken for my son’s grandmother. I knew it was going to happen, and I was never upset or irritated by it. My response was, “I’m the mom.
When my children were young, one was blonde-haired, hazel-eyed and the other had brown hair and brown eyes. People regularly asked me if they were both mine. I supposed they thought I might have been babysitting one. These days, I often watch my grandchildren and I have had people ask me if they’re mine. It doesn’t seem judgmental or intrusive. People are often just seeking a framework for who they’re encountering.
I think we do ourselves and the world a disservice when we assume everything is intended as an offense. I wonder if she could look inside and fortify herself to the point where she no longer feels inferior for being a mom of young children at her age. More power to her and I’d be willing to guess a lot of the people are actually supportive, or at least neutral, versus judging her.
If we’re firm in our own identity, no one else has to validate us and we don’t have to justify ourselves. I think it’s an opportunity for her to embrace her own self on a deeper level, which will serve her for the rest of her life. Just two cents from someone who learned this later in life.
“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology -- featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation -- is available as a paperback and e-book. VisitIf you purchase a product or register for an account through a link on our site, we may receive compensation.
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