Advice from Annie Lane.
I’ve been married for 47 years and realized early on that my husband was an in-the-closet gay man. He admits he used me to keep people and family from knowing. I’ve tried to leave him, but I always go back because he promises to not cheat anymore with other men. But it stays the same. Now our children are grown, and it’s just the two of us. He has a lot of health issues and claims he needs me to be there for him.
Also, we don’t have marital relations anymore. Actually, it has been over 20 years. I’m so lonely and long to be touched and romanced, but I’m 74 now, and I don’t think I will ever find that in my life. I care about him so much, but I feel used, and I am very resentful toward him. I’m so depressed. I just don’t know what to do. I can’t leave now due to finances.It sounds like he thought the two of you had an arrangement in your marriage but that arrangement is simply not working for you.
Once you get away from the toxic situation you are in, then you should seek the help of a professional therapist who can help you sort out the understandable anger you have toward him and the grief you will feel mourning all the years spent in a relationship that was built on false pretenses.After reading my small air conditioner unit’s owner’s manual, I always thought that I just needed to clean the filter monthly with a vacuum.
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