In today's Dear Annie column, a woman in her sixties worries her spouse has 'let himself go' and will cause himself more problems in the long run.
Annie Lane suggests some alternative routes today's reader could take to address her concerns about her husband's weight.
My husband of 35 years has taken to letting himself go. We are both in our 60s and have, in the past, enjoyed hiking, walking around our neighborhood and getting some exercise. He is a recovered alcoholic and has a powerful taste for sweets, eating them often and usually clandestinely. He has gained a fair amount of weight and has had some recent problems with his knees and one hip.
I have suggested exercise and a sensible diet, but he does not seem to find it an important suggestion. We have good insurance, although he does not see a doctor or dentist. He hobbles when he walks now. I exercise regularly and am a vegetarian. My weight has been the same for our entire life together.
Should I let him be? I am tired of telling him how I feel regarding this issue and know I will soon be a widow. I am at a loss. -- Impending WidowYour concerns are both valid and pressing, especially given your husband’s previous battles with alcoholism and now his declining physical condition. Since direct suggestions haven’t been effective, consider consulting a third party.
Make sure to express your concerns not just from a health standpoint but from a relational one. Let him know how much you value your time together and your future, emphasizing that his health directly affects the quality and longevity of your shared life. At the end of the day, it’s simple: You love him and don’t want to lose him. This might make the situation more relatable and urgent, inspiring him to make changes.
Annie-Lane @Exmeter @Mrose @Lll
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