Advice from Annie Lane.
: My husband of 19 years has been physically and emotionally abusive. We have two boys, now ages 18 and 13.
I have told him that I’m no longer his wife, that he is nothing to me, but he doesn’t care. He stays at the house, saying it’s his home, too, and as long as he’s not breaking the law, he is gonna stay and there is nothing I can do about it, which is true. I don’t have the money to move. He has a trailer that his family gave him for free, but he won’t go.
. It is a domestic violence support hotline, and they can help you plan your exit with your sons. You also may need the help of a good divorce attorney. My advice to you is to take action as soon as you can and lean on all the resources that are out there to help you. You are not alone in this.I want to thank you for sharing reader responses to “Emotional Blackmail,” the woman who reconnected with her son after many years apart and is emotionally and financially drained.
If the situation was as bad as she described, she should have taken her child with her. She should have found a way to make a great life for her child, not just for herself.I’m not suggesting that she have no boundaries with her son -- he is using her; he may feel that he’s owed the money she gives him; he likely feels a lot of negative emotions toward her -- but deep down, I’m confident that he is deeply hurt by her actions and doesn’t know how to make it better within himself.
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