Advice from Annie Lane.
Somehow, sometime, it was determined by my family members that since I was living at home after being disabled, that I would be the sibling who would be responsible for caring for our parents until their death.
My father passed away about 12 years ago, while Mom is still with us. However, she requires more care than I can give, but my siblings don’t see that. I recently came into funds that would allow me to relocate to Tennessee and an independent living community where I went to college. But my five siblings want me to stay and nurse Mom till the end.
If I can, I’m going. I’m already planning a visit to Tennessee to visit several facilities to make a final decision. I expect pushback from all five siblings, but I am tired of trying to meet other people’s expectations. I figure with 800 miles distance, I can finally get away from them.
The next time this man says something rude or off-color, call him out on it. It’s possible he doesn’t realize how what he thinks are jokes impact those around him. If he continues even after you’ve confronted him, limit your interactions with him. Perhaps a bit of distance will make him realize the seriousness of his words.Annie Lane offers common-sense solutions to everyday problems. She's firm, funny and sympathetic, echoing the style of her biggest inspiration, Ann Landers.
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