'This is a friend with whom I have never exchanged harsh words and would never in a million years expect anything less than compassion and understanding,' writes the reader. Have you had a similar experience?
Dear Annie, Annie LaneLast year, a friend of 50 years and I were talking about flying to Canada to meet for a trip. Prior to making any plans, I researched and found that the mask requirements were still in place for Canada. Although I have always adhered to the requirements and am fully vaccinated, I didn’t feel comfortable having to wear a mask for such a long trip. I am already a nervous flyer due to inner ear issues, and I felt this would cause a lot of anxiety.
She then told me she felt our friendship did not matter to me as much as not wearing a mask and she could no longer be around me! I gave her a heartfelt apology, saying it had nothing to do with my affection for her and that I was devastated she felt that way. It did not make a difference, and now I am left feeling so abandoned and sad. This is a friend with whom I have never exchanged harsh words and would never in a million years expect anything less than compassion and understanding.
I am obsessing about it and doubting myself, although anyone I have asked says they think she is the unreasonable one. How do I get beyond this hurt? -- Broken Up Over CovidA 50-year friendship shouldn’t go down this easily. There might be something else going on in her personal life that is making her act so irrationally. I would reach out to her and reiterate how much you care about the friendship and how much you miss her.
Something along those lines would open the door. Asking from a place of curiosity, not a place of anger, is likely a better route to go if you want them to respond so you can find some amount of closure. -- Similarly SwindledYou’ve made an excellent suggestion. “Catfished” is undoubtedly still hurt by this woman’s actions no matter how long it’s been, but I agree she’s more likely to get a better outcome if she approaches it calmly and rationally -- and, as you say, as a matter of curiosity.
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