I’d like to dissect the pen pal years and ask questions about why she did this.
DEAR CATFISHED: Before you decide, think long, hard and honestly about the expectations you have for a confrontation. What are you hoping to get out of it? There’s a scenario where you express to “Casey” the trauma and pain her deception caused, and you get some answers and a heartfelt, long overdue apology in return.
But I want you to be prepared for the other potential outcomes. It’s possible that she’ll deflect her wrongdoing, dig her heels in and you walk away more frustrated and upset as a result -- or with nothing at all. Oftentimes, the people who commit to these sorts of charades are lonely and seeking companionship, though obviously in an inappropriate way. Casey may not even fully understand why she did what she did all these decades ago, which leaves you with more questions than answers.
Ultimately, the only person who knows what’s the right choice is you. It may be your chance to finally release the hold this event has had over you and fully heal, but do proceed with caution. A good therapist can also help you to sort out this trauma and process the effects you still feel today.
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