DEAR ABBY: My husband, “Brett,” and I have been legally married for five years. We had a common-law marriage for more than 15 years before that. ...
DEAR ABBY: My husband, “Brett,” and I have been legally married for five years. We had a common-law marriage for more than 15 years before that. Brett was always a stable and encouraging partner, but over the last two to three years he has changed. He’s angry and he blames me for things that could not possibly be my fault. He blows up in a rage and throws things across the room over insignificant annoyances. He has removed my name from our bank accounts and changed all the passwords.
I have kept this to myself and haven’t shared with family or friends because I’m embarrassed. It brings back my own parents’ fighting and divorce. When my husband rages, I freeze. I’m unable to think and usually just retreat within myself for a while. I’m not thinking rationally and I need advice. -- MARRIAGE GONE WRONG
Your mistake has been in remaining silent. Inform his doctor, your family and his about what has been going on. You should also make an appointment for yourself with an attorney who specializes in family law and can explain your rights as a wife in the state in which you live, because I don’t think you can be cut off financially as Brett has done.
He died nine months ago, and I connected with a friend of his who worked with him as a social worker. He’s 20 years my senior and has been a good friend to me. I have been struggling with depression and attempted suicide. I would get into counseling but I can’t afford to, so good friends are a godsend.
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