I want a close relationship with him, but I refuse to tolerate his girlfriend.
Yes, you were wrong to “banish” the girlfriend because, although you were trying to protect your son, it drove him away from you and closer to his abuser. It may be time for your husband to have a man-to-man talk with Dennis and point out that his girlfriend’s behavior could indicate that she has emotional problems. Normal people do not hit and verbally abuse others.
Whether it will get through to your son is anyone’s guess, but since he and his abuser are in college and have access to a student health center, it could benefit both of them to get counseling. For Dennis, to help him figure out why he would tolerate being abused; for her, to help her gain some self-control.I have a friend who had been ill for some time. Three years ago, two of his adult sons moved in with him because they’d been kicked out of their mom’s house.
My friend died a month ago, and now his sons and “companion” want all of us who were his friends to organize a memorial service. They claim they “don’t know how to do this kind of thing.” My friend also has two adult daughters and three grandchildren. Isn’t it the duty of the surviving family members to do this? While I wouldn’t mind providing a list of his friends and phone numbers, I feel the sons are lazy and exploitative, and I’m very uncomfortable being asked to form a group and do a job they should be doing. I’m not going to participate, and I wondered what you think.I think you are absolutely correct. The honor of giving your friend a loving and respectful sendoff belongs with his family.
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