Mom tells me she misses the kids, but she invariably expects me to pack a bag and head that way. It’s frustrating.
Sometimes our budget is so tight, I don’t have the luxury of spending an extra $70-plus in gas for a trip. My financial situation is not her burden, so I never mention it. I brought up just once in the past that she rarely visits, and she really does believe in her head that she visits at least twice a year. When I corrected her, she blew up.
I’m not sure how to feel about this. Sometimes it hurts inside like a rejection, and other times I feel like I need to tell myself to grow up. So here I am -- in the middle, with grandkids who love their grandparents, grandparents who love their grandkids and, if I don’t play the mom-taxi, how will they see each other?They won’t. And when your mother asks why you have stopped coming, point out that fuel is costly and your budget is very tight.
P.S. If your mother gets lonely between visits, she can always video chat, as countless other grandparents do today.My husband and I have been married more than 40 years. As he’s grown older, he has become the stereotypical “grumpy old man.” Although he can be thoughtful, like giving me flowers for my birthday, he’s increasingly moody, impatient and angry. He often rants about politics and other things and won’t stop trying to impose his views on me.
Because I don’t want an argument, I either don’t respond or leave the room, which also upsets him. Sometimes he apologizes because he knows his ranting upsets me, but shortly after, he resumes doing it. I love him and do a lot of things for him, but living with him can be a downer. Can you suggest any strategies for coping with my “grumpy old man”?Schedule an annual physical exam for yourself and your grumpy old man.
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