Dear Abby advises a woman whose mother-in-law is mean to her children and an elderly woman having issues with her younger friend.
My husband is the oldest of five, with four younger adult sisters. Many people ask if he’s the “favorite” since he’s the firstborn and the only male, but it couldn’t be further from the truth. My mother-in-law favors her daughters to the point of almost ignoring my husband.
When it comes to grandchildren, she’s obsessed with her daughters’ children and pretty much ignores our children’s existence. She visits the others 10 times for every one visit to ours. When my husband has spoken to her about it, she says she just “doesn’t see it.” Our children have been hurt by her more times than I can count.
My friend prefers talking on the phone. She lives alone and has tons of free time. I have asked for her cellphone number so I can call her during my morning walk, which is the only free time I have, but she says she gives the number only to her grown children and doctors, and prefers to call me. Each time I email, she says she “longs to hear my voice” and asks if she can call me. I have explained my reasons to her. How do I answer her repetitive pleas politely? I simply don’t have time to chat on the phone. I’ve wavered from this stance with only one other elderly friend, who doesn’t do email. It inconveniences me, but in her case, there is no other choice.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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