Dear Abby advises a child whose father is a serial cheater, a man navigating a family dispute and weighs in on a question of etiquette.
I am a 23-year-old child of divorce. For nine months, my father has been dating a woman he was seeing while still married to my stepmother. My youngest brother and I have yet to meet her. If they marry, this will be Dad’s third marriage.
While I love him, he deeply hurt not only my former stepmother but also my mother, because he cheated on them both multiple times. He excuses it by saying he had no other choice. I recently moved back to my hometown after living in New York for 16 months. At some point soon, the three of us, as well as my middle brother, will likely have dinner together. I’m afraid I’ll lash out at her and possibly lose my father in the process. I feel like a child when he tries to explain his behavior in an indirect way.
Because the pregnancy and delivery were difficult, it seems reasonable that the mother needed time to recover and adjust. With a year gone by, a birthday party given for the child and your wife still not receiving an invitation, I would say the niece isn’t interested in maintaining a close relationship. Your wife may gain better insight into what has been going on if she talks with her niece’s parents about her feelings.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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