Dear Abby advises someone on how to deal with a controlling in-law and counsels a nurse on what to do with negative friends.
I have a sister-in-law, “Helen,” who has appointed herself as the final word on all family events. No other relative has any input into when, where, what, etc., regarding any family celebration. If it’s not her way, it’s the highway.
The biggest problem with Helen is she schedules everything on the date that fits her calendar without regard for anyone else’s. An example: We once celebrated Christmas in February because that worked best for her. Another time, my wife and I scheduled a complicated vacation around my brother’s birthday so we could be there to celebrate with him. Helen moved his birthday party right into the middle of our prepaid vacation.
More examples: Thanksgiving is celebrated in early December, and other significant dates fall whenever she decides and are subject to change at the last moment at her whim. Complying with Helen’s one-sided demands makes planning for everyone else a nightmare. The control doesn’t end there. It also includes the venue, menu and guest list. She even puts place cards on the table designating the seating arrangements. As with everything else, these are NOT negotiable.
I have thought about introducing them all to each other so they could have a group pity party. I have suggested consulting their doctors or trying psychotherapy. I’m just tired of it. I can’t stand the negativity or their hypochondria. I feel guilty, but I now dread any phone call, text or invitation to get together. Please help. I don’t want to hurt anyone, but I’m worn out. —There comes a time, usually around the age of 50, when some folks begin pruning their friend list.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at \DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
United States Latest News, United States Headlines
Similar News:You can also read news stories similar to this one that we have collected from other news sources.
Dear Abby: My husband sent a nude to his exDear Abby weighs in on a divorced couple rekindling their relationship, a boyfriend’s gambling addiction and nude photographs.
Read more »
Dear Abby: My wife says I’m too sensitive about her loversPlus: Should I leave my husband because of this texted photo?
Read more »
Dear Abby: Man wants his former wife to be his current girlfriend... but she sees this as a casual relationship, which leaves me feeling hurt.
Read more »
Dear Abby: I want my estranged wife back as my girlfriendShe sees this as a casual relationship, which leaves me feeling hurt.
Read more »
Dear Abby: My wife gained weight, can I tell her?Dear Abby mediates a marital dispute and counsels a woman on handling her boyfriend’s grief.
Read more »
Dear Abby: If she calls me dowdy, can I point out she’s fat?My wife doesn’t like the way I dress and berates me in front of family.
Read more »