Anytime my husband mentions my name or the life we have together, she changes the subject.
I offered to write her a letter, but my husband doesn’t think it would be a good idea. He used to be close to his family, but with each passing year the relationship becomes more strained.
My mother-in-law followed a similar pattern when my brother-in-law married his wife. When they had their first child, my MIL’s behavior did a 180 and she welcomed them into the family. Now that we’re married, my husband and I have begun the process of adopting from the foster care system. I assume my in-laws will want a relationship with their grandchildren, but I don’t know if I can let go of how they’ve treated us. The strain has been especially tough on my husband. At times, it almost broke us up.
I would value a relationship with my in-laws, but as things stand, I wouldn’t want them around our future children. What can we do to improve this relationship before kids come into our lives?There may be nothing you and your husband can do. When her children fell in love and married, your MIL may on some level have felt abandoned and felt the need to punish. That she came around when your sister-in-law’s baby entered the picture is admirable.
He was outraged and insisted it was weird for his mother to “fix him up.” He concluded: “Ask Dear Abby!” so I’m asking. WAS it weird for me to ask my friend about her daughter’s availability and pass along her phone number? He can call or not and, if he does, the two of them can determine if they want to meet. What say you? Thanks!Weird? Heck, no. In some circles what you did is how matches are made. Thousands of other mothers have done the same thing. Too bad your son reacted so negatively.
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