Dear Abby advises a woman whose husband is neglecting her and a person who no longer wants to be friends with someone.
My husband is in another state with his elderly mother. He went to help her get her house ready for sale so she can move near us. Before he left, he was having severe panic attacks. He kept telling me he is scared of losing me and that he was going to need me while he was with her.
Since he has been gone, he has barely called, rarely texts and even suggested taking a break from me. This was after finding out I had to go to the ER and had been diagnosed with a debilitating autoimmune disorder. He’s blaming me for having to ask his mother for money to cover our bills. This woman has been single for 30 years, worked full time and has essentially no real expenses. She spoils the heck out of him — her only child. She treats him like her partner or a 12-year-old boy.
I don’t feel like he’s concerned about any of his relatives here, and I certainly don’t feel loved when he goes days without even checking in. When he’s with her, he becomes a cold, bratty child. Any advice on what to say to him? —Tell your husband you need him home right now more than his mother needs him there. As things stand, your husband’s fear of losing you could become a self-fulfilling prophecy.
During the pandemic, John reached out to me on Facebook to try to rebuild our friendship. Truth be told, I really don’t care to. It has been 10 years since we last spoke, and I have changed considerably in that time. I met him twice to see if we had something over which to bond, but there was nothing. He’s a good guy, but how do I politely tell him I’m not interested in pursuing an adult friendship with him? —One way to accomplish it would be to simply be busy when he reaches out.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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