Dear Abby advises a woman who is having relationships online with men while in a loveless marriage.
: I have been married for 37 years to an alcoholic. He is not verbally or physically abusive.
I have been online talking to three men. I think one of them is obsessed with me, and they all say they love me. I know this isn’t going anywhere, but why am I doing this? I don’t know these men at all. I don’t see them in person. Two are supposedly on a ship; the other is in the Army. They don’t know where I live. I have told them I’m older than they are; I’m 66.
I know a person can feel alone in a marriage. That’s how I felt for years. Now I just feel like we’re roommates. I’d appreciate any insight you might have about why I’m doing this. — LIVING A SOAP OPERA: I suspect you engage in these online relationships because you are lonely and seeking validation that you aren’t receiving from your husband. It is also probably exciting to feel you are attractive to men after living with someone who is uninterested and unresponsive for so many years.
I was crushed at her words, but also confused because she didn’t bother to tell me he was hospitalized until 10 days had passed. This kind of thing has gone on for years. I was the one who took care of our elderly parents when my siblings couldn’t be bothered. They didn’t even take the time to check in on my husband after he lost his sister unexpectedly. What I am grappling with is this: Is it time to walk away? I don’t deserve the hurt they are causing.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at
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