The problem is, he talks down to me.
I want to have the interior of the house professionally painted, and he insists we should paint it ourselves. “It’ll be fun!” We were testing paint samples on the wall and disagreed over which shade of white to choose. He tells me I should “defer to him” and ends up swearing, and when I ask him to stop, he says I’m overreacting. This is why we are not a couple.
DEAR FEELING CONTROLLED: This man moved in when you were a couple. The circumstances have changed radically. You allowed it to continue because it suited both of you. Because it no longer does, tell him you want him out of there because your relationship “is no longer working.” Then set a date for it to happen. This scenario won’t repeat itself if you set boundaries and assert them when they are encroached upon.
An older cat we had also became very ill. My parents refused to take her to the vet either. Now another one is getting sick and, despite my pleading, they still refuse. They say, “Some cats just get sick like that,” or “Vets can’t always help.”
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