A worried friend struggles with how to respond as someone close remains in a controlling and emotionally abusive relationship.
My best friend, “Brooke,” started dating a man, “Angus,” last year. From the start, he made a poor impression. He met Brooke while he was dating another woman but didn’t tell Brooke about her. Brooke continued hanging out with him only after he broke up with his girlfriend.
The past few months have been nothing short of awful. I see Brooke weekly for coffee, and all she does is tell me how mean Angus is to her and her family. He calls her names, emotionally manipulates her, tells her what she can and cannot wear and looks through every inch of her phone. Her family loathes him. Her dad told me he never wants to see him again. They are constantly urging Brooke to end the relationship. None of her friends likes him, and she doesn’t seem to either, but will not, for whatever reason, break up with him. Last week, they decided to get a puppy together. It’s getting exhausting for all parties, including Brooke. What should I do? Should I just leave it alone and let her figure it out and be there when it ends?You are a supportive friend, but you cannot live Brooke’s life for her. Buying a puppy with someone who is abusive does not bode well for her or for the animal, which may become the focus of the abuser’s anger if he feels he cannot control Brooke. Because she won’t listen to family or friends, Brooke IS going to have to figure things out for herself. Save your advice for people who will listen.Dear Abby: We still love each other, but our marriage feels emptySee all “Dear Abby” columns Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, California 90069. Copyright 2025, Andrews McMeel Syndication.Jeanne Phillips, also known as Abigail Van Buren, has written the advice column “Dear Abby” since 2000, responding knowledgeably with the wit and compassion that earns her the loyalty of millions of fans. She’s...
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