While I agree the money should be returned, I am inclined to just write it off rather than stir up a mess.
Published: Nov. 05, 2024, 4:00 a.m.DEAR ABBY: My sister recently lost her husband, who passed away after a brief fight with cancer. Her daughter, my niece, was scheduled to be married later this year. They struggle with finances, and my brother-in-law’s death exacerbated the situation. In order to help out, my wife and I quietly gave them $1,000 to put toward my niece’s shower so they could have it at a nice place. My sister was appreciative, but we unfortunately heard nothing from my niece.
Fast-forward a couple months, and the wedding is now called off. My sister and her daughter recently went on a cruise and have told me they have booked another. There has been no mention about returning our $1,000. My wife is becoming increasingly frustrated and wants to say something to my sister, which will create a family feud. I would love to hear your perspective. -- GENEROUS IN THE EAST
DEAR GENEROUS: My perspective is that where your sister and her daughter are concerned, you should firmly close your wallet. The money is gone, and you are right that raising the issue will cause ill will. Your generosity should have been acknowledged, and when the wedding was called off, your money should have been returned rather than applied to a mother/daughter vacation. If your niece does manage to get married in the future, remember that you have already given her a “wedding gift.
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