A mother shares her struggles with accepting her son's decision to donate sperm to his wife's best friend, resulting in a grandchild she cannot form a traditional bond with.
My adult son and his wife have decided not to have children, which I’ve accepted, though it saddens me deeply. Earlier this year, they told me my son donated sperm to his wife’s best friend, who has since had a baby girl. My son signed away his parental rights, started a college fund for the child and says he and his wife will act as “fond but distant aunt and uncle.” He’s made it clear that I am not a grandmother to this baby and should not see myself as one.
While I was OK with their decision not to have children, knowing I have a grandchild I can’t have a normal relationship with feels unbearable. I often cry when I think about it, and the grief isn’t easing. I’ve shared my feelings with my son, and though he was initially compassionate, he’s since told me to stop bringing it up. This has made me feel distant from him, and I’m struggling with our relationship. He frequently talks about the baby, shares pictures and plans to take me to visit her this winter. While I want to meet her, it’s also painful.
Grandchild Familyrelationships Adoption Grief Communication
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