A woman seeks advice after her father, following a contentious divorce, demands she never meet any potential partners of her mother. The rule, intended to prevent anyone 'taking the role of dad,' has caused a rift between the woman and her father, leaving her struggling to balance her loyalty with her need for autonomy in adulthood.
Ashley Vega is a writer-reporter at PEOPLE. She has been working at PEOPLE since 2024. Her work has previously appeared in The U.S. Sun, Bustle, Distractify, and Gay Times Magazine. A woman is seeking advice from the online community as she finds herself caught in the middle of her parents’ divorce — and her father’s surprising demands. The 25-year-old woman shares the backstory on her parents’ relationship, claiming they went through a contentious divorce.
“My dad claims my mom cheated, but there’s no evidence, and my mom denies it,” she explains. The daughter acknowledges the pair were “extremely incompatible” and the fate of their relationship was inevitable. However, in the wake of the divorce, the father imposed a strict rule on his children: they were never to meet or interact with any potential partners their mother might eventually have.His reasoning was that he didn’t want anyone else “taking the role of dad.” While the woman and her younger sister initially complied with this rule to remain at peace, the situation has now reached a breaking point.During a recent conversation, the father made it clear that he expects his daughters to follow this rule for the rest of his life. The poster recalls asking her dad, “Even when I’m 40, married, and with kids of my own, am I still not allowed to meet someone my mom has been with for years if he makes her happy?” Her father said yes.to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories. The father’s ultimatum was severe, the poster says: if she ever meets her mother's future partners, her dad will cut her out of his life entirely. The threat has left the woman feeling torn between her desire to maintain a relationship with her father and her need for fairness in her adult life. “I think his fear stems from feeling replaced, which I understand when we were younger. But at this stage in our lives, it feels absurd. It’s not like a new partner would “raise” us—we’re adults now,” she notes.Eventually, the woman told her father she is not willing to follow this rule forever. “If he chooses to cut me off for that, it will be his decision, not mine,” the poster shares. The woman’s father responded saying she had a “lack of principles,” blaming their potential fallout on her. Now, the woman is seeking advice because ultimately, she doesn’t want to sever her relationship with her father. “I think this rule is controlling and unfair, and I refuse to let it dictate my life any longer, but I also don’t want to lose my dad,” she explains.Many Reddit users have sided with the poster, claiming her father is overstepping. “This rule of his is both unreasonable and impossible. This is basically asking you and your sister to cut off contact with your mom,” writes one user. Another adds, “He is telling you to pick one parent over the other. Children, even adult children, should NEVER be put in the middle of their parents' issues.
Divorce Parenting Family Conflicts Adult Children Parental Control
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