Online dating is often criticized as a “meat market,” but studies show that it can lead to deeper, more durable relationships
By Peggy Drexler Aug. 29, 2019 11:58 am ET Chicago native Lola Vanderstrand was in her early 40s when she started looking for a husband online. She’d been married before, and she had her doubts about online dating. The site that she chose, Match.com, didn’t appeal to her at first, but Ms. Vanderstrand quickly realized that dating online was forcing her to be honest about who she was and what she wanted. It also allowed her to be more forward in determining whether a man was husband material.
Online dating has been criticized for lots of things. Some say that it encourages a “meat market” approach to romance, offering too much choice—and too much temptation to constantly look for something better. Others deride it as nothing more than a platform for arranging quick hookups. But there is now evidence that online dating could, in fact, be improving the likelihood of romantic compatibility—and making marriages stronger.
“ The rate of marital breakups for respondents who met their spouse online was 25% lower than for those who met offline. ” “Humans started down a path to becoming isolated the moment the first person put on the headphones of their Sony Walkman,” says Eric Resnick, a professional dating profile ghostwriter in Orlando, Fla., who met his wife online. “We hide in our phones. Online dating sites and apps make it possible to reach out in a way that doesn’t make most people uncomfortable.”
“Relationships only last when your goals are aligned,” says Amy Schoen, a life and dating coach based in Washington, D.C. Online dating reveals those goals “up front and center,” she said. It requires singles to understand and articulate their own values and goals in a way many never have. This is important because, as Ms. Schoen put it, “knowing yourself is the first step in knowing what you need from a good partner, and how to be one yourself.
Though many singles may view dating online as an efficient way to find someone who meets their specific criteria, dating apps can, in fact, open up users to a wider range of potential partners. A 2017 study by researchers at the University of Essex in the U.K. and the University of Vienna in Austria, published in the social-science journal SSRN, found that marriages created online were less likely to break up within the first year than marriages that started offline.
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