Sometimes, people will either leave or quit a relationship rather than deal directly with their issues. Here are some ways to start breaking that harmful pattern.
It’s always valuable to periodically step back, look at the patterns that run our lives, and decide whether it’s time to do things differently. If you’re at that point where your old coping style is no longer working and you realize you are, indeed, missing out, here are some suggestions to help you upgrade your emotional software.
Use your thoughts and fantasies of leaving as red flags that tell you there are problems you need to address now. You only reach your bottom line because you’ve been sinking for a while. To avoid reaching that point, you need to learn to address problems early, rather than sweep them under the rug, hoping they will magically get better.Decide what skills and support you need to act differently.
Breaking patterns isn’t about stopping them but substituting old behaviors with new ones. For example, you may need to learn to be assertive rather than angry or to negotiate win-win compromises. Look back and see where you get stuck in resolving an issue, and then look for skills and support through counseling and books that can help you move forward.
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