A collection of humorous anecdotes about daily life, relationships, and unexpected experiences.
it is so crazy how many hours are actually in a day when u wake up before 11:30 am…..wow………do people know about this—@ULTRAGLOSSHello! We are mere days away from the end of December and 2024, and I cannot agree with this more:I talk to my daughter about how yes “fat” is a normal descriptive word but could hurt people’s feelings & it’s best not to comment anything about anyone’s body. So I’m in the kitchen & hear her go “no we can’t move the couch close to the wall bc mommy’s butt is….
very serious.” it is so crazy how many hours are actually in a day when u wake up before 11:30 am…..wow………do people know about this “oh dude you’re gonna want to see this” i yell to my dog from the other room upon seeing 2 squirrels on a fence Flirted with two guys separately and then found out they are best friends and they sent me a selfie of them together with no caption so I just sent back a voice note of me making train noises. Ball up top. I have a partner who will always do little things to surprise me but today he sent me flowers because it’s the anniversary of George W. Bush getting a shoe thrown at him. I told him months ago that I considered it a holiday. Never had someone pay attention to my nonsense before. one thing about Ireland Hinge, these guys LOVE to take pics with the lads. Each profile contains about 25 men with the same haircut and detective Caitie has to figure out which one I’m actually talking to this weekend i participated in a white elephant with a sort of new group of friends. the gift i gave? a curated box of my favorite desserts from throughout nyc. the gift i received? a taxidermied toadMe: *spends 4 hours comparing gift prices on several sites to save $4* i know i didn’t text back despite “being on my phone for seven hours straight” but you have to understand i was on the escapism phone. the responding to texts phone is different.- the man I’m dating is disappointed that I don’t violently rattle his testicles like I’m shooting crap
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