What Does Negging Mean? Mental Health Experts Break It Down
“Negging typically involves negative comments about one’s appearance, behaviors, choices, achievements, or circumstances. Initially, you may not even recognize it as harmful or hurtful, as it is backhanded,” she says.Don’t You Know Who I Am?“Not bad, I mean you did a good job, I remember when your brother got into this program and he was even working full time, too, but yeah—you did great.”
Being on the receiving end of negging is “emotionally and psychologically exhausting,” Guerra says. “Negging is like psychological warfare,” she continues. “It makes you feel unsafe, so you become guarded, defensive, and hopefully self-protective. This uses up a lot of your energy and can leave you feeling exhausted mentally and physically.”
Then, talk about how those comments made you feel. Try to use “I” statements like, “I felt hurt by your comment about my weight.” You can then say what you want or need from them, and set boundaries, like “I am not going to engage in a conversation with you if you are negging me.” Unfortunately, confronting someone who is negging you is unlikely to get you very far. “I think many chronic negging people are probably somewhere on the narcissism or antagonism spectrum, and passive aggression is a big part of those spectra,” Durvasula says. “These are people who have marginal levels of empathy, are deeply insecure, and use interpersonal aggression as a way to maintain power, domination, and control.
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