This article explores the importance of understanding and acknowledging your own needs and desires as a foundation for healthy boundaries and conflict resolution. It emphasizes the challenges faced by individuals, especially women, in recognizing and expressing their needs and the potential consequences of suppressing them.
Getting in touch with your own desires is the first step before initiating a conflict or setting boundaries. Cultivate practices of stillness to connect to and acknowledge your own needs, preferences, and hopes. If you find yourself feeling worn out, overwhelmed, resentful, or exhausted, then these may be clues that your needs are not being met. You may be experiencing a lot of conflict and you’re not sure what is driving them.
Perhaps the way you are spending your time, energy, and emotional investment could use some re-aligning. And I am one of those people; I am a big advocate for healthy boundaries to protect our peace and well-being. Yet, before you go into any boundary-setting conversation or any conflict resolution, you need to get clear on what you want. In part one of this series, I’ll discuss how to get in touch with what you want and in part two, I’ll discuss how to respond to those desires and communicate those with others, if you choose. For many people, especially those socialized as women, it can be very hard to notice and voice your own needs. You may have received praise for being selfless and forgoing your own needs to help someone else. Being kind and generous is laudable and yet, if you never make space to voice your own needs, preferences, and hopes, then it is unlikely they will ever be met. Recognizing that something in your life is very far from where you want it to be can feel like a scary realization and one that may be at odds with what others want. Perhaps you'll realize that you aren't happy in your job and you can't keep up with your current pace at work. As inconvenient as it is to connect with our desires, continuing to push down and silence your own needs, desires, and hopes may lead to feeling lost and disconnected from yourself. This is one reason why many people feel lost at different points in their lives and feel unrecognizable to themselves.
Boundaries Self-Awareness Needs Desires Conflict Resolution
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