A sister is worried about her younger sister's intense and quickly developing relationship with her boyfriend. She fears the relationship is hindering her sister's ability to make other friends and build a healthy social life.
DEAR ERIC: My younger sister is in her sophomore year at university (her school is far from home). I’m a couple of years older than her, but we are best friends. She just celebrated her one-year anniversary with her boyfriend (same age as her), who she met in her first week in school. I love her boyfriend and support their relationship – he is kind and fun. However, I’m concerned about how quickly they have become emotionally dependent on each other.
My sister does not have many close friends, and when she started dating this guy, they latched onto each other quickly and started spending lots of time together. This has continued all year. They also both have mental health struggles. At one point, my sister was staying with him more often than she was in her dorm for weeks on end. She missed classes to take care of him and even expressed to me that it was really weighing on her. This episode passed, but whenever she has come home to visit, she has been extremely distraught about being away from him to the point where she’s had panic attacks. She has a counselor and overall seems to be well. But I am really afraid that this is preventing her from branching out and making other friends/connections. I recently supported another friend of mine whose relationship started in their first month of college and ended shortly before graduation – their breakup was terrible. I don’t want my sister to go through this. What do I do?DEAR SISTER: Shakespeare once wrote “the course of true love never did run smooth,” but this is also true of less-than-perfect loves. While you can’t necessarily prevent your sister from heartache or heartbreak, you can be clear about your concerns and unwavering in your support of her mental health. It’s worth mentioning that every love relationship is strengthened by healthy friendships. Hearing it in a non-judgmental way from a person she trusts may help open her eyes. We often need mentors to help us understand how relationships should wor
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