GRAND IMPERIAL THRONE ROOM, CASTLE ROACH—His Royal Highness, King Leopold Blattodea IV, undisputed lord and ruler of the cockroaches, expressed dismay and concern Monday that the recent rise in bedbug populations could threaten his sovereignty over the realm of human squalor.
Gathered in His Majesty's begrimed throne room behind the bathroom sink, a solemn coterie of royal advisers and nobleroaches received the king's proclamation in tense silence, awaiting his word on precisely how the cockroach kingdom would respond to the bedbug scourge.
Prognosticators and soothsayers from areas as far-flung as underneath the stove and behind the trash compactor have begun to speculate in private that the fierce battle between the pests for control of mankind's paranoia and repugnance may already be lost.According to members of the royal court, King Leopold—whose uncontested reign began when he emerged from his pupal encasement two weeks ago—has continually refused to admit the bedbug advancement is cause for any long-term distress.
Sources from the king's inner circle said that efforts to assess the extent of the bedbugs' encroachment have so far failed: Last week a reconnaissance mission ended abruptly when scouts were redeployed to investigate a cache of congealed pizza grease found in a cardboard box on the counter.
United States Latest News, United States Headlines
Similar News:You can also read news stories similar to this one that we have collected from other news sources.
BET Awards Full Winners List: Cardi B, ‘BlacKkKlansman’, Regina King, Michael B. Jordan Among HonoreesThe 19th Annual BET Awards took place today at the Microsoft Theater in downtown Los Angeles. Regina Hall took the stage and showed off her hosting (and dancing) skills as the show celebrated Black…
Read more »
conan gray is gen z's ascendant king of sad boy popWith an online following in the millions and a penchant for angsty songwriting, 20-year-old Texan Conan Gray is about to make an indelible mark on the world of pop.
Read more »
https://ew.com/Entertainment Weekly has all the latest news about TV shows, movies, and music, as well as exclusive behind the scenes content from the entertainment industry.
Read more »
Woody Guthrie's Children Named Mermaid Parade King and Queen
Read more »
Ocasio-Cortez and Steve King trade jabs over 'concentration camps' reference“The last time you went on this trip it was reported that you also met w/ fringe Austrian neo-Nazi groups to talk shop,” she tweeted.
Read more »
Arlo and Nora Guthrie Named Mermaid King and Queen at Coney Island’s Mermaid ParadeGood morning America, how are ya? Arlo and Nora Guthrie were named king and queen at Coney Island’s 37th annual Mermaid Parade this weekend
Read more »