Cheney Waits Until Last Minute Again To Buy Sept. 11 Gifts

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Cheney Waits Until Last Minute Again To Buy Sept. 11 Gifts
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WASHINGTON—Busy dealing with important paperwork and other vice presidential duties in recent weeks, Dick Cheney was forced to put off until the last minute a cherished annual tradition: gift-shopping for his favorite holiday, 9/11.

“I looked at the calendar yesterday, and I couldn’t believe my eyes—9/11 is almost here!” a rosy-cheeked Cheney said upon returning to the White House Sunday with two giant bags overflowing with gift-wrapped boxes and big red bows. “It’s the most wonderful time of the year.”

“I think I’ve outdone myself this year—I bought the president a box of cigars and a brand-new fountain pen, I got Condoleezza [Rice] a beautiful blue blazer, and for my wife [Lynne] I bought a diamond necklace, a new winter coat, and this neat little motorized airplane ornament to hang on the 9/11 towers,” Cheney told reporters while perusing the windows of New York’s famed Park Avenue shops. “And for [grandson] Samuel I bought about a million toys and games and 9/11 nutcrackers.

But amid all the decorating and gift-giving, Vice President Cheney is careful not to let all the 9/11 festivities distract him from the deeper significance the day holds.“Sometimes, in all the hustle and bustle of the season, it’s easy to forget the true meaning of Sept. 11,” Cheney said. “Sept. 11 is not about fancy 9/11 parades, or big 9/11 office parties. In fact, it’s not even just about two buildings crumbling to the ground and leaving thousands of innocent people dead.

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