'It feels as if they just ‘qualify’ and have the right to be there more than I did.' Caught Between Cultures: Overcoming The Downplayed Emotional Struggle Of Being ‘Mixed’ In Malaysia
I believe that when we discuss the thoughts and experiences that trouble us, there is a certain line between what we are expected to say and the deeper-lying issues that we feel may be incomprehensible or seem odd to other people. For me, this used to be my cultural identity as a Malaysian-Chindian individual., I spoke to women of a similar mixed heritage, where they opened up about how prevalent the stereotyping and fetishising acts are here.
Here are some of the most profound instances where I recall being left with a sense of alienation pertaining to my racial identity:JUICE Malaysia.Me in Batu Caves.. a looong time ago. First I was flattered to have even been picked from the crowd, but insecurity set in when I realised I did not look like, speak like, or know what to do like the other girls did.Also, for me, conducting prayers in both Hindu and Buddhist temples made me feel like I was betraying either faith. But at the same time, choosing one would not help to shroud the guilt, but rather amplify it. To be honest, it also felt like having to pick a side between my parents.
On the one hand, you might desire to proudly embrace every element of your diverse past and present it to the world. On the other, you may be concerned about coming off as inauthentic or adopting cultures from which you have only a loose or partial link with.on and going about your day will be enough, or if you’ll somehow be perceived negatively by your peers.
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