Carolyn Hax: Turns out their 40-year ‘secret’ was out of the bag the whole time

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Carolyn Hax: Turns out their 40-year ‘secret’ was out of the bag the whole time
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That these two friends faithfully kept their 40-year secret turns out to have been a 40-year lie.

Forty years ago, a very close friend and I agreed to keep something we did in our 20s a secret for life. We did not want to hurt anyone else.

Apparently, my friend shared our secret with their friend 40 years ago. They never kept the secret. But I am just finding out. My friend feels as if this was a betrayal committed 40 years ago and I should just let it go. But to me, it is a deception committed today, as I just now found out. They want me to put this behind us as old news, and I feel newly betrayed.I have decided to forgive them and move on, but our relationship is severely impaired. I will never be able to respect and trust this person again, because they disclosed their deception to me flippantly and with no remorse.

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