His girlfriend’s stepdad threatens to withhold financial support if she doesn’t do what he wants. Is this emotional abuse?
Examples: He monitors and criticizes my girlfriend’s weight when she is at home, calls her and her mom [glass bowls] and says he is smarter than they are because of the college he went to, and has said my girlfriend is “a guest” in his house. He makes light of anxiety issues she has.
Oh, wow. Yes, this checks about every box for emotional abuse. Belittling, shaming, controlling, financial strong-arming: It’s a buffet of abuses of his power over her.Please remind her that there are resources to help her navigate this. It’s a difficult problem — I won’t minimize it — but that is not the same as her being helpless or stuck.
Typically, a college’s counseling service is the most accessible option, but many are stretched beyond their capacity. Still, yours may not be. Without pushing, see whether your girlfriend is up to making an appointment. Return thereafter to your listener role, regardless of her answer.This hinges on the college’s resources in another way, but she can speak to a financial aid adviser to learn of any options for cutting ties to an abusive parent.
The next place to turn is solid, free and available on short notice: the National Domestic Violence Hotline,. It’s not on-the-ground like the school can be, but the hotline staff can do the crucial work of explaining why the stepfather’s behavior is abusive, what the risks are and what she can do to mitigate them.I’m so glad you asked this and have shown her such love and respect.
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