His big sister promises to throw a fit if he gets engaged before she does. Do he and his partner proceed with their plans anyway?
My boyfriend and I want to get engaged in the coming months, but his older sister has indicated she will throw a fit if he is engaged before she is. We plan on getting engaged anyway and agree that upsetting his sister is a risk we must take.
But a loved one in pain does involve you, or at least it involves your boyfriend, if only to the extent that she might welcome the support of the people who love her when she feels bad about herself. This advice is for him, not you, sorry, but you can coach him up. Think: blunt meeting of equal minds, with no trace of condescension or pity or “there, there”-isms.She may still throw her fit, especially if that’s her signature style. But still, a loving, thoughtful bluff-call to get ahead of it — followed by patience and no further explaining if she makes good on her threat — is the best way to deal with any fallout. Congratulations in the coming months.
If she doesn’t respect your wishes and posts it all anyway, then you call her on the breach of trust and stop sharing with her — or, if you prefer, stop reacting when she shares. It’s pretty binary stuff. Not reacting gets a lot easier, by the way, when you unfollow her. I highly recommend it.
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