'Before lockdown I would visit mum and she still knew who I was' Many people with dementia in care homes have gone into decline from lockdown - here are some of their stories
As I wheeled my grandad Martin up the ramp and into a taxi which would take him away to the care home, I repeated the white lie my family had agreed might make this painful scenario slightly easier.Thankfully his dementia meant that he couldn't fully understand what was happening or where he was going. In fact, he seemed to quite enjoy the novelty of being outdoors for the first time in months. But my granny and I were raw with emotion.
But as his 10th decade arrived, so did dementia and things started to fall apart. He'd lose track of his words mid-sentence. Making a cup of tea became a challenge. One time the fire brigade descended after he fed a cracker into the toaster. Family rescue efforts were appreciated by my 92-year-old granny, but in truth they were just stop-gaps - like fixing plasters on a broken leg.When lockdown began, the situation only worsened.
Video calls often do little for those with dementia. The notion of holding a"moving picture" of a loved one, as they talk, sounds promising. But it can be a hollow, even disturbing experience. This resonates with my own grandad's experience. Video calls left him more confused than when we'd begun; he could scarcely focus on the screen and struggled to understand where our voices were coming from. The only thing which seemed to cut through was the repetition of a simple message,"I love you, Martin". To which he could still reflexively respond,"I love you too, Bubala.
"We would do relaxing things like colouring in or simple jigsaw puzzles," she says."I would sit and hold her hand, or brush her hair. And over two-and-a-half to three days, I would see her coming alive." In the meantime she's focused the home's efforts on keeping residents as well looked after as possible.
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