After seeking help, the singer said she feels the 'healthiest and most connected to myself I’ve ever been'
She begins the essay by admitting the contrast between herand her real life, explaining that while she may appear happy and carefree in her frequent posts, more is going on away from the camera.
"Here’s what there aren’t pictures of from the last year: me crying in the car talking to my mom about how much anxiety and how many symptoms of OCD I was experiencing," wrote Cabello. "My mom and me in a hotel room reading books about OCD because I was desperate for relief. Me experiencing what felt like constant, unwavering, relentless anxiety that made day-to-day life painfully hard.
Cabello said she initially didn't want to tell anyone about having OCD because she was "embarrassed and ashamed" of feeling "at war" with her mind. "I didn’t want the people who thought I was strong and capable and confident — the people who most believed in me — to find out that I felt weak," she wrote. "The little voice in my head was telling me that if I was honest about my mental health struggle and my internal battles , people would think there was something wrong with me, or that I wasn’t strong, or that I couldn’t handle things.
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