This is how you can get the most out of a negotiation without changing who you are, writes WomenOnPurpose1
and trust are the top six skills most often identified as essential to superior negotiation. Studies suggest that aside from assertiveness, the other five skills are considered"feminine" traits by most.
Yet, ironically, people still cling to the misguided belief that women are likely to be less effective.The same misconceptions that lead people to believe women are not effective negotiators also lead to the mistaken belief that nice people finish last in negotiations. Seeing negotiations as win-lose propositions all about the bark and bite supports the myth."Nice" has gotten a bad rap in recent years and is undervalued. Nice people may actually be better equipped as negotiators, because bringing empathy, true trustworthiness, and rapport-building to the table elevate outcomes.The myth that negotiation is a win-lose competition spawns further destructive myths. One such spinoff is the idea that negotiations are like poker and it is necessary to hold one's cards close to the chest. This is typically counterproductive. Coming to meaningful resolutions that represent the highest good for all is challenging if everyone is in protective mode, refusing to share actual desired outcomes. It is only through sharing one’s real needs and discussing those of the other party that opportunities arise to find creative solutions to meet those needs—often in unexpected ways. A guarded, defensive posture in negotiations triggers a response in kind. This is rarely, if ever, a strong place from which to bargain for best outcomes.Another spinoff myth from the competition model is to never make the first move in a negotiation and/or that concessions are a sign of weakness. Both myths can be debunked. There are many potential advantages to making the first move.expectations at the outset of a negotiation can set the tone for the discussion. Set high aspiration levels and anchor expectations by sharing them early. Likewise, planning for and making the first concession can set a collaborative tone and trigger reciprocity. People afraid to do so can be seen as lackingMyth #8: Emotion has no place in negotiations. It is often said that emotion has no place in negotiations. In fact, one of the unfounded criticisms levied against women is that they are too emotional to be good negotiators. There is a difference, though, between being emotional and bringing emotion to a negotiation. While being emotionally reactive and losing the clarity required to achieve desired outcomes is dangerous, bringing the emotional resonance of one’s “why” can be a powerful motivator in a negotiation. Understanding emotion and how it manifests for both parties is a significant advantage in any negotiation.Many people believe negotiation prowess and skills are innate and fixed traits—one either has them or not. This belief is based on a myth and inhibits people from trying out their negotiation chops. Negotiation is a learned skill. It takes practice. Learning more about the art of negotiation and applying those skills with intention leads to better abilities as a negotiator and results in better solutions. Every new building block sets a stronger foundation upon which to grow.Even some experienced mediators buy into this destructive belief. Splitting the difference as a go-to remedy is similarly a bad strategy. Successful negotiators seek the highest and best results for all. It shouldn’t be about everyone giving up items of importance but, rather, about finding how to get even better results than everyone expected. It is important to raise awareness to bust through myths that hamper one’s ability to influence and persuade so as to get best outcomes in a negotiation.
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