A couple secretly married a few months ago due to immigration reasons and is now planning a small wedding to celebrate with family and friends. However, the bride is feeling guilty about keeping the secret from their guests and seeks advice on whether to come clean.
A couple secretly married a few months ago and is now planning a small wedding to celebrate with family and friends. But the bride is worried that it's 'deceptive' to keep the secret from their guests. She explained on Reddit that they secretly wed to expedite her fiancé's US immigration process. 'After setting the date, we found out one of his close family members was sick,' she wrote.
'After speaking with a lawyer, we decided it made the most sense to just legally get the papers signed so we could start the immigration process ASAP.'\She admitted that at the time, it seemed normal to keep the marriage private and still plan the wedding. However, as the date approaches, she's feeling guilty about the deception. 'We also didn’t really want to explain to all our friends and family our decisions about immigration. But now as it gets closer to the date, I am starting to feel really guilty about it,' she confessed. \ The couple has sent out save-the-dates but not invitations yet, and the bride is struggling with what to do. 'Should I come clean and tell everyone we’re already married? And just do a reception?' she wrote. 'I don’t want to spoil the wedding day, but I also don’t want to come across as deceptive to any family or friends.' Seeking advice from the Reddit community, she asked, 'Would you feel deceived if you went to a wedding but found out the couple was legally married a few months earlier?' In the comments, many reassured the bride that her situation is more common than she thinks. Some suggested that the guests wouldn't be too bothered and that the focus should be on celebrating the couple's love. One commenter pointed out the distinction between the legally binding marriage and the upcoming wedding celebration. 'You legally signed papers to be married. A contract, like if you leased a car or bought a home. The contract was a legal necessity,' they wrote. 'You don’t share signing contracts with your family and friends. You are exchanging vows of love at a wedding. This IS shared with family and friends. Whole different ballgame.' However, others cautioned that keeping the secret from guests could be perceived as dishonest. 'Not a big deal usually, except... yeah, the fact that you were hiding it makes it deceptive. It’s such a weird thing not to be honest about,' one commenter wrote. Another added: 'It’s probably best to tell people ahead of time. Your officiant should definitely know, and the chance of someone hearing about it through the grapevine is fairly high. I think a very small number of people would be put off, but a much greater number would be upset if they felt that they’d been deceived. Not that there’s anything inherently wrong with not telling them, but people often react strongly when they find out that they’ve been lied to even in a small way.'
SECRET MARRIAGE WEDDING PLANNING IMMIGRATION GUILT BRIDE ETIQUETTE REDDIT
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